So! we were visiting wolves last time we spoke! well from wolves came the long a dangerous trek back to Vancouver.. our toes were nearly frozen off... (from the car's airconditioning).. our trails were perilous (attacking roadside diners and cheap food).. and our eyes heavy.. (from the immense amount of eye makeup jiku has made us wear.. apparently she thinks Ciara and I's rendition of the Loveboat will be fitting for our time on the Ms Volendam headed for Alaska)
So we got back to Vancouver! We had all intentions of going to Stanley park but mr weather had other ideas (we seem to be rain and hobo magnets).. so instead in the torrential downpour we headed out to see a movie.. not just any movie.. but Salt.. don't get me started on Salt.. it's like the cold war meets the new war on terror.. add in Angelina Jolie.. and wow.. how bad could it get.. no wonder she speant most of her publicity tour plugging the fact that her little girl wants to be a boy but is a girl BUT WAIT! is in boy's clothing.. that in itself was so distracting that it made the tacky action in the movie entertaining while our thoughts were clouded with the mind boggling task of trying to figure out whether Angelina's daughter is really a boy or girl in real life.. no actually it served its' purpose.. junk food and tacky action..
From Vancouver we jumped on our 'Cruise Ship'.. 'Cruise Ship' really cannot describe the wonder of the ms Volendam.. from many bars with pianists, string quartets, a solo guitarist, a casino, the Voldendam singers and dancers (more on them later..), and an amazing stateroom.. all i can say is this thing was one huge floating rsl, meets hotel, meets jewellery sales pitch!
Our room was really awesome and every day our cabin steward would make us towel animals before we went to bed.. so post our evening meal we'd go to our room to find a tortise or a puppy made out of folded towels! picture origami using towels!
The ship had Volendam comedians, magicians/illusionists and all kind of things.. alas.. the illusionist could not make all the food dissappear from my stomach post the trip!
3 words.... 24 hour food! NO JOKE! all you can eat... whenever you desire to eat it.. pizza at 4 in the morning.. no worries.. finished the pizza and feel like a pre-breakfast steak with onion soup and a chocolate mousse.. NO WORRIES!.. post breakfast shrimp cocktail.. bring it on! afternoon nachos covered in ice cream and sprinkles! YOU BET!
The moral of all those wonderous concoctions is.. the ship left perky and boyant.. and arrived into port being dragged by tug boats straining their engines to get it's 1450 passengers back into land where they could sign up to a free lipo consultation upon disembarking.. seriously it was nuts food!!
The Volendam singers and dancers were top notch.. rocking boat, no worries, they could still pull of a triple pirouette into a lift and out again as if they were on stage on broadway.. with such hits as 'Rock the Boat' and 'We're here to entertain you' Ciara and I were in awe of their majestic portrayal of graceful, classical dancing, while half miming, half singing their brilliant hits.. oh dear.. But it kept everyone going right from happy hour into the evening until they could get upstairs to the bar to drink some more and dance the night away to hits such as "O'l grey mare" and numerous saucy Tom Jones numbers.. seriously the grey nomads drank us under the table and out partied us every single night we were on the ship..
The illusionist and comedian were awesome! Ciara got called up on stage and I had to hold a box in the audience while he made her ring dissappear from her finger and into the box next to my seat! it was a bit freaky to have to get up and dance and yell "I have the box" and have people pay you out about it the next day but oh well.. I doubt I'll ever see them again!
I guess all these colourful descriptions are trying to illustrate that maybe.. just maybe.. we were at a different phase of life for their immense and boisterous ship parties..
On board was a wonderful Jewellery salesman.. every port we landed in had a shop called Diamond's International.. these guys must've been funding his kid's college funds with their commission because everywhere we went it was all about "Go to Diamonds International".. correct me if I'm wrong, but since when did diamonds, jade and alot of overpriced, poor quality jewellery, enter their way into Alaska's rich and colourful history.. it was actually quite sad to see what I can only describe as a used-car salesman trump up poor jewellery items to essentially take money from uniformed people.. it made me quite angry really!
Each port we went in to had many many tours associated.. you could do stuff from dog sledding to glacier helicoper flights and other activities.. if you didn't undertake the tours it was hard to find sufficient time to explore the surrounding areas other than the towns.. the tours were really expensive so we opted for the cheaper option.. most of the towns were really quaint with majestic surroundings.. but the main strips were very geared to 'tourist sales'.. we did however manage to find some awesome local artisans.. and some awesome local jewellery..
I got to see the mendenhall glacier and the madelline glacier as well as the John Hopkins Glacier.. they were stunning.. the silt in the water made the areas surrounding them this surreal blue..
in summation while we really did get to see some wonderous things.. i think the learning experience was unless you went tour hopping.. or on a 24 hour consumption holiday.. it was a bit hard for us at our phase of life to really enjoy Alaska or the cruise environment for what it was worth.. learning lessons as we go! who would have thought!!
On to Toronto!
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